a time of broken skyes

Since I had arrived,
Lots of photos where rescued from a dark drawer, and are now at my small room (where I stay) when I am in Barcelona.
This room that means nothing special, the last room of the so many that due to my father unstable behaviour, I would have to inhabit.

The photos are at the table where the laptop is, and at other places, like an old trunk that serves as bed table. Kept in small groups of periods and themes, one is of my parents weeding, other, of my baptism or of my very young parents with a baby who is me. Other groups are of a few holiday pictures, including my parents photographed by me at 12 years old or so, when my dad has just arrived to this old sixties Barcelona airport.

I also have a few of my mother, been photographed by my father as to re-explore how he was looking at her.

Can we see in this photos any sign, any clue of what is about to happen in our lives?
The first clue, is the face expression of my grand mother María, the mother of my father.
She is holding a big candle, next to the baptismal pile at Barcelona cathedral wile I am about to be christened. Her face looks abstracted in a sadness and coldness that is quite impressive.
She is supposed to be happy, but she is not.
Another people who are not so happy or smily are, her daughter, my aunt and other aunts from my mother's side.

Looking at my parents weeding pictures is really nice, one looks at happiness and love. Genuine and truly, simple and honest.
But again, one is stricken by the serious and sad faces in contrast, bared by my dad's mother and sister.

Fifty and four years later all the unfolded events and retrospective analysis uses the pictured seconds to grasp any hidden sign or premonition....
As today my dad is with a very developed cancer started from his prostate and spread to his bones, and my sister has put her self on observation inside the mental health dept in hospital wile I am tacking my medication and struggling with depression.

Narcissist disorder, inherited disturbance?

Just one day in spring of 1975 things shifted and started.

But not really, as we know that all starts always way before.